Tag Archive | stress

Summary of lately

1. My father shattered his shoulder about a week and a half before my moving date, rendering him unable to help
2. My father had shoulder replacement surgery the first day of the move, rendering my mom unable to help due to helping him out
3. Due to overtime at work/helping dad with things before his surgery/etc, we were no where near fully packed on moving day
4. Paid brother and a friend to move the furniture (thank god) but everything else was up to us. We are two weak-ish out of shape girls. Cue tears, exhaustion, and copious bruising
5. Still got out of the old place 2 hours late.
6. Started school immediately after move, so haven’t had time to fully unpack
7. OT at work has meant 1 day weekends, on which I am too tired to do much homework or unpack
8. Haven’t been sleeping enough lately due to life BS
9. Have been dealing with the worst breakout of my life
10. Have been having to seriously juggle finances, constantly flirting with overdrawing my account and praying that my phone doesn’t get shut off before I get my student loan refund to help pay the bill
11. I have a calculus test on Monday (which I’ve barely studied for), plus a chapter to read, quiz to take, and three page paper to write by Sunday for Politics
12. Despite being exhausted and having calculus tonight, my dad insists I come over to help him get 20 boxes of long, heavy porcelain tile from his truck to his house. Despite having a hand truck to help, it still took all my energy, since dad couldn’t help much due to his shoulder (why he didn’t ask my STRONG brother to help is beyond me)
13. He wants me to help mow the lawn tomorrow
14. I’m on the edge of losing it due to stress and worry
15. I’m out of vacation days at work so I can’t even take a damn day off

There you have it.

Another blow

This week has been trying financially, I’ve broken down a few times, and work stress is driving me up a wall. I’m at wits end, but I went to school to turn in paperwork for the summer and fall.

You know what?

My school won’t give out a loan for the summer semester.

Going part time, summer is important if I want to graduate any time soon. Yet they won’t give a loan. Ok, I thought, I’ll look at a private loan. But you know what? They aren’t on the list of approved schools for any of them.

I thought going to community college would be a good thing and get me going in the right direction, how the fuck does this help?

I’m so aggravated, depressed, and at a loss. I’m making practically the same as I was back in 2007, and yet everything has gotten so expensive, my job has gotten worse, and I owe everyone and their brother.

I’m at a loss.

Sometimes

Sometimes things align just right and everything is perfect.

Sometimes they align all wrong and everything goes to hell in a handbasket.

I’m currently in the latter camp. My depression, sleep quality, stress, and finances have all grown exponentially worse, and I’m struggling to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I know I need to see a doctor, but my $40 copay is holding me back. That’s about half of a day of work for me. I know I need it, but things like food and keeping the utilities on and gas to get to work are a bit more important. I’m drowning in a pile of stress and self doubt and I really can’t figure out what to do about it.

So you know… fun.